The conversation. I’m currently working on a scenario. Writing a good dialogue is one of those key elements of fiction that a lot of writers struggle with. We’ve all read scripts or seen movies where we thought, “Nobody talks like that.”
I wrote this dialogue from scratch. A good dialogue sounds like real-life conversation but I think I’ve heard this one before, somewhere…


Herman: You’re a pistol, you’re really funny. You’re really funny.
Mr. Bowie: What do you mean I’m funny?
Herman: It’s funny, you know. It’s a good story, a good blog, it’s funny, you’re a funny cat.
Mr. Bowie: What do you mean, you mean the way I walk or meow? What?
Herman: It’s just, you know. You’re just funny, it’s… funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
Mr. Bowie: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What’s funny about it?
Sis: Mr. Bowie no! You got it all wrong.
Mr. Bowie: Oh, oh, Sis. He’s a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?
Herman: Jus…
Mr. Bowie: What?
Herman: Just… ya know… you’re funny.
Mr. Bowie: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little crazy maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Herman: Just… you know, how you tell the story, what?
Mr. Bowie: No, no, I don’t know, you said it. How do I know? You said I’m funny. How am I funny, what is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what’s funny!
Herman: [long pause] Get the hell out of here, Mr. Bowie!
Mr. Bowie: [everyone laughs] Ya creep! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering loudmouth ya. Sis, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Herman. You may fold under questioning.

47 responses

  1. Mr Bowie, I had no idea you were so vocal. Perhaps you would consider standing for Parliament. I think the debating chamber needs your persistent and dedicated questioning.

  2. Bowie called Bagheera…”He thinks I’m funny- he better watch his back. I know where all the picture taking machines are…”

    Bagheera: “I know what you mean. I watch HER all the time…”

  3. Really good dialog, but if you want to make it authentic to contemporary speech, you need to add the word “like” every other word or so. We’d hate the dialog, but it would be true to what Mom says she hears everyday. Way to Herman a bad time! Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

  4. At least Mr.Bowie can talk back. Imagine our cat, Booboo, at home – ’cause she will just stare at you blankly with droopy, slanted eyes as if saying: ” Eey, what’s up duck!? ” Just without a carrot to munch on. Hahahaha! I enjoyed the dialogue 😀

    • Thanks Nessy! Eye contact staring is a way of letting you know she’s interested in you… or maybe Booboo’s just hungry! 😉

  5. This post is hilarious! Such great writing. Exactly the kind of muse and entertainment we hope to employ on our Cats in Tow blog. Thanks for the inspiration 🙂

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